Excuses - Part Two

Here's part two. I've added more detail, and developed the characters more - hopefully.

Tell me what you think

-----

Dinner was delicious, Dillon made pasta with tomato and spinach sauce. The fresh flavors exploded in my mouth, and Dillon seemed to pick the perfect wine to go with them. Acknowledging that it was a meatless dish, I smiled. "You knew I was going to stay," I stated.

Dillon and I were cuddling up on the wooden porch swing, his arm around my shoulder. "Of course I did," he smiled, squeezing me closer. "You never turn down dinner." Sobering up, I pulled away from his grasp and turning to him.

"Dillon," my heart dropped to my stomach just because I thought about telling him this. Taking a deep breath, I began, "I think you are a really great guy, but-" I stopped. Too cliche, I thought. We aren't a normal couple, so I should take a different approach, right?

"Nara," Dillon grabbed my hand, wherever he touched, electric sparks were left. I looked out to the pasture. The young filly and her mother were standing at the water tub. "You're not breaking up with me."

"I am," I whispered, not able to find the strength to go louder. "We haven't got a future. I can't give you what you want most," I withdrew my hand and stood up, walking over to the railing. "I know this doesn't matter much at the moment, but in time," I put my head in my hands, trying to keep the tears away. "When you want children, I won't be able to give you that." I couldn't help the tears now, memories of my marriage now flooding back, and the single reason, well four really, why it fell apart.

"Nara!" He knew I was crying, I felt his arms wrap around me. "Don't think about that, you know what happens!" I was now facing him, Dillon was swaying be from side to side.

"How can I not think about that?" I mumbled into his chest, "It's not something you really can recover from. One, yeah, in time. But four? not likely."

"We can try," I gasped, I couldn't go through that hell again.

"No." I remember the questions and all the gossip too well. "Dillon, I can't have another miscarriage. It's too much, emotionally."

"I would be there for you," Dillon kissed the top of my head gently. "I wouldn't ever think of leaving you."

"Dillon," I warned him. I was hardly in the mood to talk about my ex-husband, there was just too much emotional baggage that came along with him. "I'm not going to allow myself to keep you in a relationship that has no future."

"I'm not going to allow you to break up with me because of this." I pulled away and dried my eyes. He was 25, he wouldn't understand what I've had to go through. Not even my ex-husband understood that. "You want kids, don't you?" Why would he ask me this, he knew how much it hurt to think about it.

"I'm leaving." I walked into the house and grabbed my keys. Dillon stood in front of the door, blocking my way. "Move, or I'll just go out the back." Dillon looked at me, and I didn't see the judgement that was present in the eyes of everyone else, including friends and family.

"Nara," his voice was soft, and understanding. "Please answer my question."

"You already know my answer," I whispered. Answering the question anyways, tears came to my eyes, "I want a child more than my next breath. Why do you think it took me four miscarriages to realize that I wasn't going to have a child of my own. I may want a family of my own, but I'll never be able to actually have one."

"There are always other ways, like adoption, or surrogacy," I shook my head. Tears flooded my vision. All I wanted was for Dillon to move out of the way, and let me leave.

"If I can't give birth to my child, I won't get to experience the miracle. That's a wish I gave up on long ago." Dillon wrapped his strong arms around me, lifting me up like I was his bride. I bit my lip at the thought of marrying him, it would be amazing, except for the matter at hand of course. "Put me down! Dillon, put me down this instant!" I struggled against his strong grip as took me down the wide hallway to his bedroom .

"We'll find a way," Dillon murmured as he laid me gently on his king size bed. His room was a man's bedroom; slightly messy, and smelling of cologne. I groaned, Dillon was relentless, and he always had to win. I started to get up, wanting to leave. I was done dragging up painful memories of the past.

"Stay," Dillon told me.

"I have to go home..." Think of an excuse! I told myself. "To...feed the cat." What?! I don't have a cat! I cursed under my breath.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," he tossed me a t-shirt. It was light gray, and had on it the logo of the Tennessee Titans. I threw it back to him and made a break for the door. I heard Dillon groan, and his footsteps closed in on me. I looked back for an instant, and regretted it immediately. I was knocked to the carpet floor, face down, Dillon was on top of me. I huffed, and tried to wriggle out from under him.

"Get off of me," I told him, trying to roll over so my chest wasn't pressed into the floor. Once I managed this, I realized it was a mistake; I was now face to face with Dillon. I closed my eyes and tried to push him off. " Fuck, Dillon. Get off."

"Only if you'll stay." He put more of his weight onto me and I grimaced in pain.

"No. I came here planning to end this, and I'm not going to leave until it's over." I tried to push him off, but he only pinned my arms to the ground.

"When do I get to meet your parents?" His question caught me off guard. I looked at him, puzzled. "You've met mine, so when can I meet yours?"

"You aren't meeting mine."

"Why not, that isn't fair."

"Because I don't want you to get attached. It hurts less in the end if you aren't attached." Dillon studied my face, and I blushed.

"You're attached to my family. You've spent holidays with them, and come to visit them with me." I sighed, a tear sliding down the side of my cheek.

"I don't care if I get hurt. I don't want you hurt. Dillon, please, just let me leave." He stared at me, shocked. I thought he was going to get off of me, but instead he kissed me hard, a jolt of need coursed through my body. For a few moments I let myself get swept up in the kiss, then I pulled away.

"I care. Nara, please just spend the night. I'll keep my hands to myself. And besides, it's too late to drive back to the city now." I groaned, he was right. It would take me an hour to drive back, and I hated driving in the dark.

"Fine." Dillon finally rolled off of me and I sat up, taking a few deep breathes. I stood up slowly, and walked to his bedroom. Dillon followed me and, once again, handed me the grey t-shirt. I quickly changed into it, "Do you have any of my pajama shorts here?" I asked, knowing he did. He threw me a pair of purple jersey knit shorts. Slipping out of my jeans, I put them on. "Thanks." Dillon had on boxer shorts. I climbed under the covers and waited for him to join me.

That night, I cried more than I have in a long time. Dillon held me, comforting me and encouraging me to keep talking about what was bothering me. I was really mad at myself now, because I knew that I should have never stayed for dinner. But, I had never talked to anyone so much before, and I was glad for Dillon's patience.

"Nara," he kissed me on my cheek, pulling me against him. "I love you." I smiled before I could stop myself.

"I love you too."

------

So? What does everyone think about part two?

[Edit: May 10th. Added some more, hope you like it.]